Do You Believe in Unconditional Love?
I grew up learning that love was earned.
I spent every day working very hard to get scraps of love. I didn’t know that was not what love was supposed to be. So when I grew up, that’s how I knew how to get my needs met: by being hyper-aware of what the people around me wanted and give it to them so that maybe I could be loved.
And for a lifetime I thought only the deserving found love, and that I was undeserving. Every time someone would be disappointed in me or decide they didn’t want me around anymore because I dared to whisper a need or dared to show up as vulnerable or as me, it reinforced the narrative of “I am not worthy of love. I am not good. I must become better if I am to find love.”
And the cycle continued again and again until the truth started to trickle in because Someone was watching out for me, Someone would not let me go my whole life without knowing the truth. And I began to have my eyes opened and I began to heal, and I began to believe that Love didn’t have to be earned and should be unconditional. I learned to believe that everyone has a right to be loved simply because they are humans made in the image of God. But then I lost almost everyone because no one knew what to do with a version of me that wasn’t going to feed only THEIR desires and THEIR needs anymore, and it broke me because I had sacrificed the only “love” I had ever known for a Love I knew was real but hadn’t yet really experienced.
But slowly through the cracks, the people started to arrive. Slowly as I showed up simply as me, real Love started creeping in. And I have to say, it’s terrifying to experience unconditional Love after a lifetime of inexperience…because there’s still a part of you that is afraid it will get taken away.
But this is where the growth happens and this is where the faith is built. Will I believe that I’m worthy of love? Will I believe that some people could actually love me just as I am? Will I believe that Love won’t leave me? This is what I’ve been leaning into and I am awed by the beauty of discovering the reality that Love truly exists. And you know what’s so amazing? I’m learning to love me too.
Tell me, are you learning to love YOU?
