S2E9: Coffee with Gabi! What Is Fear Keeping You From Doing?
Fear is tricky. It's a very natural emotion, but it can make you feel like you should avoid things that maybe you should actually be engaging in.
I know for me, I've been prone to fear and anxiety for most of my - like most survivors of early childhood trauma and CPTSD! Again, like I said, it's so normal to feel fear. But over the years I have really learned that some of life's greatest gifts are on the other side of fear. So how do we move through fear without betraying our bodies and our hearts? How can we reframe what we think about fear when we encounter it? And what might we find on the other side of fear if we learn how to move through it more regularly?
These are some of the questions I am answering in this short and sweet episode. I'm so excited for you guys to grasp these concepts and be able to courageously move into some of those things you may have stayed away from because you've been afraid.
Tell me your story about moving through fear - I'd love to hear it! Shoot me a DM on Instagram or email me at gabi@paintopassionlive.com!
And as always, if you are enjoying this podcast, please rate and review. Thank you so much!
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(TRANSCRIPT) S2E9: Coffee with Gabi! What Is Fear Keeping You From Doing?
Note: Transcript is created by AI. Please excuse errors.
Gabi: [00:00:00] Hey beauties, how are you? Welcome back to Pain to Passion Live. This is a coffee with Gabi episode, so grab your favorite hot or iced beverage. Have a seat somewhere cozy that you love, maybe looking at a beautiful view, and let's chat for a few minutes. So I have a question I would like to pose. What are some things that you haven't done?
Because you've been scared. I know I've talked about this before, but I feel like this is really important, especially in this realm that I'm in, where I help trauma survivors and help people through their nervous system dysregulation, which comes from genuinely scary. Places in their past, like your nervous system gets scared because something that's happening now is reminding you of something that was [00:01:00] legitimately frightening or dangerous in the past.
But I still believe that there is a place for pushing through fear. Because on the other side of fear often are some of the greatest gifts of your life. I wanna tell you a quick story. Um, several years ago, I was actually going on a trip to Bhutan. You may or may not know where Bhutan is, but it's this awesome, gorgeous little country that's nestled between Nepal and India.
And I was going there to speak at an event, and I was feeling anxiety about this trip for a while before I went, but. As soon as I got on the airplane that was going across the ocean, I legitimately had a panic attack. [00:02:00] Now, listen, this is not the first time that I have traveled overseas. I have been traveling overseas, usually on my own since I was about 20 years old.
Um, it's something that I love. Going to different countries is one of my all time favorite things, but I'll tell you what. Every single time that I travel domestically and internationally, I have a lot of anxiety. I get really, really anxious. I have the heart flutters. I second guess whether or not I'm supposed to go.
I can't. Tell you how many times I've been asking myself, should I actually do this? I'm feeling really anxious. Maybe I should just stay home, like my whole body is just saying. Stay home. Stay home. Stay home. But this particular time was really bad. I was on this flight, it was actually [00:03:00] from Dallas all the way to Dubai, and it was a long flight and, um, I remember I went into that tiny little airplane bathroom.
You know how weird and gross those things are, and looked in the mirror. The plane is literally in the air over the ocean flying. I'm looking in the mirror and I'm saying, I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this with tears just streaming down my face. Now, of course. At this point, there's literally no way out, and I knew that, but I was still in that bathroom, just panicking like, what am I doing?
Going to a country that I have never been to before without my family, and it's gonna be for like 10 days. What the heck am I doing? This is [00:04:00] ridiculous. I'm crazy. I'm so scared. But no turning back, sat back down in my seat, went on, obviously got to Bhutan and back without any incidents happening. But here's the thing.
That was one of the most extraordinary trips and experiences of my life. It was so amazing you guys and I. Have to say that every time I have decided to travel somewhere and push through that real, very, very real anxiety and fear, something beautiful and extraordinary happens on the other side. It's taught me something really very cool Now.
I often still experience anxiety or fear about doing new things, [00:05:00] trying something new, going to a new place that I've never been before. Talking to someone I've never talked to before. You may or may not believe this, but I struggle with all of those things. I have a fear of talking on the telephone for heaven's sake, like I.
I really have never enjoyed just calling someone up because I have so much anxiety surrounding it. However, I have learned to train myself at this point to breathe through that fear. I know that sounds so basic, but it really does work just to breathe and I think about. What is awaiting me on the other side and what comfort I can look forward to when it is over.
So for example, if I have to like call an insurance company, nobody likes that, [00:06:00] right? But I have to do it. I have to get this done. I have to figure this out. I will breathe and I will tell myself, okay, when this is over, not only will this issue be taken care of, but also I can have a cup of coffee. Now for bigger things such as speaking on stage, which I did in March, and please excuse my dog who is sitting at my feet sneezing and scratching herself.
Oh, how many of you have dogs that are just like, No, mom, you can't get on to Zoom or the phone right now. That is my dog. Anyway, back to the subject. Bigger things like going to speak on stage like I did at the Unstoppable, um, life event that I spoke at in March. I had anxiety. I was feeling nervous, but [00:07:00] not only did I.
Decide that that nervousness was excitement, but I also. Told myself, what am I gonna feel when I get to the other side of this? I knew I was going to feel an amazing sense of accomplishment. I knew that I would feel so happy because speaking on stages is something that I truly want to do more of, and I love having that impact.
And I knew also that I would be heading home to hug my kiddos the next day. So that helped me get through the present moment by looking at what would happen next, not in a dissociative way. Now understand me. You don't wanna dissociate in these moments. You just want to ground yourself in the reality of what is and in what is to come.
Because oftentimes fear will make you think that this is gonna last forever. [00:08:00] I'm gonna feel like this forever. But that's just not so. So what can you think of to breathe through the fear that you're experiencing now to get you to the other side? When it was this trip to Bhutan, I told myself, I know that I can get through this airplane ride, and every day I can say, okay, I'm one day closer to getting home to my kids.
I'll tell you what, 24 hours into that trip, 24 hours into being in Bhutan. I wasn't thinking that anymore. I was thinking, I hope this feels like it lasts a lot, lo a lot longer than it is because this is amazing and that will happen for you as well. Once you actually arrive at that point that you were afraid of, you'll often realize like, wow, this is actually amazing and you won't want it to end.
But it helped me to calm down my nervous system and to breathe and to have less anxiety. Just to think, okay, [00:09:00] every day gets me a little bit closer to getting back home to my family, and it helped me be able to get off of that plane in a completely different state of mind than when I got onto the airplane.
So what can you do? What is it? What is something that you're afraid of doing right now? What is something that your fear has been holding you back from? How can you breathe through that? Look at it through a really realistic lens of like, oh, this thing has a start and a finish. I know that I'm not gonna die when I do this thing because you're, you're giving this message to your body like you're, you're gonna be okay even if everything goes wrong, like, you're gonna be okay.
And think about what you can comfort yourself with that will be after something that will bring you to this sense of home, A sense of security, of safety. Even [00:10:00] if it's something as simple as like, tonight after I do this scary thing, I know that I'll be able to sit on my couch and watch my favorite show on Netflix.
I would love to hear if this is helpful for you guys, because honestly, I think we miss out on a lot of the things that we're supposed to be doing and a lot of the things that we could be experiencing because we're scared and fear. Fear makes sense, like it's normal. You guys. There's nothing wrong with you because you're afraid, but what you can do is equip yourself with the ability to breathe through it.
Have a realistic view of what's actually going on and get to the other side. I'd love to hear from you. Please message me and let me know if this encouraged you or if there's something you've been afraid to do that you're gonna go after. Now. I would love to cheer you on. I'm so amazed and proud of you, and remember, [00:11:00] I have.
A free 10 day downloadable soul care journal for you guys available on my website. It is beautiful. You will love it. So check out the link to get that free journal in the show notes, or you can click on it in the. Bio of my Instagram or my Facebook. It is there as well. And enjoy that Soul Care Journal.
And heads up, I am launching a brand spanking new 12 week one-on-one coaching program very, very soon. It's going to be incredible. So if you wanna know more about. That shoot me an email or a DM and let me know. You wanna know about it as soon as it launches. Cause it's going to be just for a limited few people and it's gonna be amazing.
I cannot wait. And thank you again for being here. I love you guys. Talk to you next time. Bye-bye.