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S2E8: Do You Love Yourself? - Lori McAfee

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When's the last time you thought about whether or not you actually love yourself?

On today's episode of Pain to Passion Live, I am so honored to share a conversation with my beautiful friend, Lori McAfee, who is a QUEEN at helping others understand what it means to truly love themselves.

I am so grateful for Lori's willingness to share her own story of learning to love herself - a story that includes an unexpected teen pregnancy, the grief of her church community asking her to leave, and of understanding that love is a vulnerable thing - that is so so worth it.

Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions: Is it right to love myself? Is it safe to be seen? Do I know and appreciate who I truly am? Do I believe I have intrinsic value? If I don't fully love myself, am I still able to fully love others?

If you have, this episode is for you. You will be SO blessed and encouraged, my friend!!

And remember - you are LOVED.

More about Lori:

 Lori McAfee is a sought-after life coach, speaker, and podcast host of “Get Your Rear in Gear with Lori.”  

Lori is a professional certified life coach, an emotional intelligence practitioner and a behavioral consultant with DiSC assessment with marriage certifications. 

As one that believes life is a choice, she learned the hard truth of losing oneself and what it means to get your rear into gear to get to know and love who she truly is.  

Lori is a wife to the love of her life, a mother, and Mimi to an all-girl gang. She is a lover of sunsets over a lake, the echoes of laughter, and the tender warmth of love, and she is an unapologetic disciple of Jesus. 

Connect with Lori:

Website - ⁠lorimcafeecoaching.com⁠

Instagram - ⁠@lorimclifecoach⁠

Facebook - ⁠facebook.com/lori.r.mcafee⁠

Podcast - Get Your Rear in Gear with Lori - coming soon!

Connect with Gabi:

FREE Soul Care Journal Download: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.gabiruth.com/scjd ⁠⁠⁠

Instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gabiruth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@gabiruth84⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Facebook - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠facebook.com/gabiruth84⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gabiruth.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Coach with Gabi - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gabiruth.com/book-a-1on1-call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Invite Gabi to Speak - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠gabiruth.com/speaking⁠⁠⁠⁠


(TRANSCRIPT) S2E8: Do You Love Yourself? - Lori McAfee

Note: Transcript is created by AI. Please excuse any errors.

Gabi: [00:00:00] Hello, beautiful people. Welcome back to Pain to Passion Live. I have one of my very favorite humans here on the show today and I'm so excited for you all to meet her and to get to know her cuz she has the most beautiful heart. This is my friend Lori. Lori, say hello.

Lori: Hey. Oh, Gabi, that was so sweet.

Thank you. Oh my gosh. So nice and so sweet to me.

Gabi: I mi I mean every word. I'm not just trying to be sweet and butter you up, I promise.

Lori: I, I do have a kind of a pretty heart, but you know, also have a.

Gabi: You're wonderful. No, she really is. So I met Lori, um, through Amberly Lagos Mastermind. We're in the Unstoppable Life Mastermind together, and she [00:01:00] is just so very gifted in helping people love themselves and really plug into learning how to be compassionate to themselves. And she's a really good question asker. Like I don't think she realizes how skilled she is in Thank you asking great questions. But I think that's a really wonderful and important skill. Um, and she's just a blessing, but I want you to kind of just.

Introduce yourself. Tell us who you are, where you're from, and what you're about.

Lori: Well, I am, as Gabi said, Lori McAfee. Um, I am from North Georgia. Um, if y'all couldn't tell with the accent here, but, um, um, and I am a little bit about getting to know and love who you are. Um, finding true authenticity and accepting yourself.

That's what I want other people. [00:02:00] Um, I want everyone to meet who they truly are.

Gabi: Hmm. Yeah, it's true. She does. She's adamant about it. Yeah, I love that. And I think there's like so many different messages and coaches and things out there, but this specifically that you focus on, especially, I'll say maybe this is a little bit of a tangent, but especially as like a Christian woman.

I feel like this is missed a lot of the time in faith spaces like this step in uncovering how to move forward in your life specifically is how to love yourself. So Lori, I would love to just hear your story, like why do you do what you do? What brought you to this place? Whatever you'd like to share, we would love to hear it.

Lori: Well, um, what brought me to become a coach was, um, standing at the end of my driveway [00:03:00] and knowing I could go left or I could go right. And I laughed at the fact that I could be halfway across the country before anybody knew that I was gone. Mm-hmm. And I knew that was a very twisted thought for me. And, but I knew I had a choice.

And, um, I think the most painful part would, to me, was the fact that I laughed about it. Hmm. Um, like I didn't care. And that part is not me either. And so, um, I reached out to my sister, found her friend, you know, And she was like, yeah, that's not right. Like, you've gotta do something. And so, uh, I started on this journey of trying to figure out what was going on in my life and my, my pain and the good and the bad choices became a blurred line.

Hmm. And, um, you know, I wanted to know how could I readjust that [00:04:00] focus so that I wasn't mixing all of that together. And what I discovered is I'd lost myself. Hmm. I didn't know myself. I didn't, I sure didn't love myself. Um, I loved my family, but their love wasn't enough. I loved Jesus, but his love wasn't enough.

And so I had to myself kind of unravel everything to reweave. The parts into my tapestry, um, to make it the story that we're headed into now. And so looking back, all of my life has been a choice. Hmm. Um, it kind of started when I was 17 and got pregnant and, um, I came from an amazing family. I have the most wonderful mom and dad and sisters that anyone could ever ask for.

And, um, [00:05:00] they were my biggest fans during that entire time. Mm-hmm. One of the things, yeah, it's, it's not normal. I think now looking back, I thought it was, but obviously it's, it's not, there's so many people who don't know what that's like, and I, I want everyone to know what that's like. Mm-hmm. And, um, But when I think about that time, one of the hardest things for me was, um, my relationship with God.

And obviously it was a little bit of a struggle, but, um, I also was asked to remove my membership out of the church that I to, um, Not bad talking, not bashing, not anything like that. But it's just, it's the truth, you know? And so the thing was, is that I had a choice again to make, you know, do I acknowledge, make an acknowledgement to the congregation for my sin that I was obviously carrying to them, or do I take [00:06:00] my letter out and I took my letter out and um, for years it stayed in my parents' bible at home.

And I never realized the impact that that had on me until recently. Wow. And I'm 50, but, um, That's a rejection, you know, that you feel rejected by people you love the most. Yeah. Including, including God at that time. But that was a hymn, you know, that was a manmade rule, and that was a re that was not a reflection upon his love for me.

Um, and so that has definitely, um, made me a better person though, because now I, I love the person. I'm not gonna judge the person. Mm-hmm. Um, As you know, you can tell me whatever you wanna tell me, and it's good with me. Like, I'm gonna, I may not agree, I may not agree, but I'm gonna love you anyway. Mm-hmm.

Um, so anyway, fast [00:07:00] forward lot of years and, um, hold on, let me back up. Let me tell this important part. So, um, my friend comes to my house one day, I'm still 17, sitting at my mom and dad's and she says, Hey, we're all going out Saturday night. And we want you to meet this guy. And I'm like, Hmm, listen, there's not a decent guy and the world's gonna wanna date me now.

That's what I thought about myself. Mm-hmm. Being 17, having a baby, she was like, he's so much fun. And I said, okay. I. So my mom, one thing we had always agreed on is I would always take responsibility of being a mom, and I would always put that responsibility first, but they would also allow me the opportunity to enjoy being a teenager.

Mm-hmm. And so they still allowed me that time to go, you know, when not allowed me, but they gave me that option, you know? And so if I wanted to go somewhere, they were okay with it. I did not abuse that fact. Mm-hmm. So I said, yeah, I'll go. And so, you know, I got dressed up and we all, we [00:08:00] were gonna go to this little joint sidebar, whatever you wanna call it, in north, in North Carolina.

And, um, so when we pulled up, I'd already like, made my mind up. I was not gonna be interested in this guy, but when we pulled up I was like, oh my gosh. He's like the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Wow. Yeah. And that's exactly what I thought. I was like, why did she do this to me? Cause it's not what I wanted.

So, um, we completely danced the night away and I had the most fun. And I come home and tell my mom, I met the man I'm gonna marry. Wow. I said, I don't know how, like we didn't exchange numbers. I don't know anything really about him, but I'm gonna marry him. She was like, okay. You know, so, um, Two months later he called me and we've been together ever since.

So,

Gabi: oh my gosh. [00:09:00] So sweet.

Lori: It's a beautiful love story, but it's not a love story without a lot of trial either. Mm-hmm. Um, and so that is one of the things that led me to this point in my life. Um, as good as our marriage has always been, there was a point when we went left and couldn't remember when it was, right.

Hmm. And in that time is when I wanted to run. I wanted to escape. I didn't want to have to mess with it, deal with it anymore. Um, so in that, I went on this self-awareness journey. And the things that I learned about myself were very interesting. I had discovered that not only did I not love myself, but I didn't let other people love me.

Hmm. I completely [00:10:00] kept everyone at arm's length. I would allow you, I would love you, like I would bring you in. I would love you with everything that's in me, want the best for you, be your biggest fan. I was there for you and I would love you, but I didn't want you to love me because I could control that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like how much a person loved me. I had no control over except my actions, obviously. But um, I never really allowed my husband a chance to love me. And one night I said, here's what it is, here's the way. There it is, and here's where I'm at. And as amazing as our love is, and as amazing as our marriage is, I can't go on anymore.

I don't know who I am. I don't know where I'm at. I do not like the life that I'm living. Wow. Because I feel like I [00:11:00] have such a mask on. I've poured so much into other people. I've put so many different masks on to appease this person or to appease that person or to try to fit in here, try to fit in there, and it's not who I am.

And my husband and I have created an amazing, successful business. He's a dentist and I've worked with him for 27 years now. And, um, but it's like I'm willing to walk away from what all. But we've, you know, it's either that or we've gotta really sit down and have some hard conversations. Here's what I need from you and here's what I need to give you.

And so we just laid it all out on the table. Mm-hmm. And there's a country music song that says when you, when everything, you know, you strip it all away. And that's what we did. We just tore everything down and kind of rehashed a whole lot of years, like, 30 something years, [00:12:00] um, you know, in a few moments.

Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. To say that it's been, you know, don't make the mistake, the thoughts of being that it's been so easy since then, either because it's not, but we know where each other stands and we know that, um, you know, I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna tell you how I feel. Here's what I need from you. And he says the same thing to me, and we meet each other where we're at.

Mm-hmm. Um, but that led me into to being a coach. So with that being said, I got my own coach and all that time to try to figure all this stuff out, you know? Yeah. I didn't know what to do. You know, I had no idea of what to do. I didn't want other people to always know everything about me, and I didn't want everything, but I to know people, things about him.

So I was like, who am I gonna talk to? That's, mm-hmm. My sister gave me the number [00:13:00] to lady, and I reached out to her and it was very, it was life changing to me. Yeah, I bet. Opening up and listening and, um, listening to things that she would ask me, and then my response to that and hearing myself say those things.

Mm-hmm. There's a lot of power in hearing yourself say things. Yeah. Um, so I just said things that I knew about myself and again, it led me to hear, and one day I was like asking her questions. She said, what are you doing? And I said, Well, I'm just asking you some things like, you know all this about me.

I've poured my entire heart out to you, so like it's your turn. I wanna know your story because that's another thing that I, I love. I wanna know your story. I wanna know what makes you tick, because if I, if I know what makes you tick, if I know where you came from, if I no pieces of your story, then I can [00:14:00] help you to get to inside you because we've all got that song inside us that we wanna sing, and I wanna help you sing it.

And so that's one of the things, and it's a choice. And so, um, I asked her questions and she was like, why do you not coach? Like you need to start doing this. Wow. I said, Hey, maybe, you know, my husband called me that day and he said, Hey Lori, I've heard so many people talking about the suicide rate has increased and there's people are so lonely and people don't know what to do, and you are so good at listening to people.

Have you thought about doing like coaching or counseling or something like that? No. I was like, no, but you're the second one. So I had a real heart to heart with God that day and I am all about, you gotta make it a neon sign for me, God. Because like, I don't wanna just go out on a limb and think that this is what you said and I need to know, like, I [00:15:00] wanna know beyond a shy of a doubt, this is where we're at.

And I said, you, you sent two. Send me one more. Send me a third person. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to send me this third person. And so a couple days later, one of my employees came into my office and she said, I want to thank you for always being there for me, for pushing me to be better, for helping me to become the person I am today.

My family goes to church. My husband's in church, and you've been the example. You've been the one who's helped me get there, and I just wanna thank you for always being by myself. Wow. I said I got it. God, I got it. Like I get it. I'll coach. I'll coach. But I love it. I love coaching because I love to see people meet their true, authentic self to discover these things about them that they've covered up for so long.

Hmm. That they don't want to expose to anybody because they're afraid or they've wearing this mask [00:16:00] for that. Or like I said earlier, the way I was doing, we don't have to live like that. Mm-hmm. We can just be who God created us to be and live in that and walk in our purpose every day. Um, so that's pretty much why I'm here, GA.

And why you met me.

Gabi: Oh my gosh, I'm so happy right now because I just got to hear a lot more of your story than I've heard before and I'm so thankful. Um, it's beautiful. It's absolutely true. Like so many of us find us in that spot even after years of. Potentially a seemingly great situation. Yeah. And we're like, who am I?

Like, what am I doing right now? I'm so confused. So I'm curious because you, you used, early on you used the word unraveling, like mm-hmm. It was a big unraveling. I'm curious kind of what that process looked like for you [00:17:00] to go from, you're showing up a certain way to, you have an awareness. That that way that you're showing up is not you.

Yeah. But you're not really quite sure who you are to uncovering and unraveling yourself to the point where you understood who you were. Because I think a lot of us get stuck in the middle of like, mm-hmm. I know that something's not right, but I really am not quite sure who I am. So what did that

look like for you?

Lori: I had to go back to what I knew was true. I had to get back to what I believed to my values. Hmm, to the things I held the most closest to my heart. Um, I had to really learn to listen to myself. I had to learn to listen to the things that I was saying to myself and the things I was saying to other people about myself.

Um, I had [00:18:00] to own my story. One of the funniest things that happened with me and Ken, I didn't want people to know I had a baby when I was 17. There's some shame that goes along with that. Mm-hmm. You know, there really is, um, Society makes it shameful. Right. And obviously my situation with church made it a little bit more difficult, but, um, so, and I didn't want my people to question my husband or to make my daughter feel any less than either.

So I mm-hmm. I was very protective of that. But one year when somebody asked me, Kim, like, how long have you been married? And I said, oh my goodness. We've been married for so long, we don't even know how long it is. The truth is, we knew exactly how long it is. We had just lied so much about it. Yeah. So that day I was like, Kia no more.

That's over. I'm gonna own that. Mm. Like, I'm not going to be ashamed of that anymore because that's something that God gave me and he gave me that for a reason. Mm-hmm. And I'm gonna use that and whatever people think [00:19:00] that's on them, but I'm gonna own my story. And so I learned to own my story. Mm-hmm. So the un, the unraveling process was difficult.

You know, because it was taken, it was like you took a blanket that was beautiful and was so well put together and so colorful, and you would just take out colors that piece by piece, by piece by piece, and you would say, I don't, I don't want that color in there anymore. Like, I, I put, I don't want that. I don't like that color.

That does not suit me. I'm not doing it anymore. And then I remembered my values, like, what do I really stand for? You know, like I really want to stand on my values, my beliefs, and I'm not gonna be pushed on that. It's gonna be real, it's gonna be raw, it's gonna be authentic. This is me and you take it or leave it.

I have a lot to offer. And that's on you if you don't want it, you know? Yes, girl. [00:20:00] And to experience life. I don't wanna miss a thing. I don't want to miss an entire thing. And my grandchildren, oh look, I'm gonna get so emotional. Oh, my grandchildren have taught me that. To not miss a single thing, to put your phone down, to be fully present in what you're doing, to spend that time with each and every one, and.

My, my middle granddaughter told my husband one time for him to take his sunglasses off. She wanted to see his eyes, and he was like, the sun's bright. Like, I don't wanna take my sunglasses off. She said, no, but I want you to see me. Wow. And I talk it to you. I want you to hear me when I talk to you. She wanted him to fully experience what she had to say, and that made me stop and realize, what am I missing?

Because, Gabby, we both know we don't get this day back. This day comes around one time. And what if we miss that really [00:21:00] special moment? Because we're so focused on something that's not positive. We're focused on things that aren't giving us good. Um, our phone, social media, you know, all the stuff that we bring into our world that's self-induced.

Mm-hmm. The lies we believe. You know, we miss so much because we consume our minds with so much that does not serve us. Yeah. And so when you think about it, this is what it comes down to. You listen to yourself, you own your story, you know your values, and you align them and you experience life. And that comes down to love.

Hmm. So good love is the secret ingredient. And the greatest thing I ever did for anyone is learning to love myself.

Gabi: So good. Wow. Yeah. It's really powerful. It is. It [00:22:00] is. Um, self diagnostic. Let's say someone comes to you and you wanna know. If they love themselves or not, but they're not sure, like what are some ways that you can tell like, yes, I do love myself, or no, I don't.

What are some markers that we can look for in ourselves to know whether or not that's the case? I'll just say it's again as like, Coming from a faith-based background, I think that this can be really challenging. It is because there's been such skewed teachings on what love actually is, and being selfless has turned into like not even paying attention to yourself at all.

Lori: Right.

Gabi: Yeah. So you might think that you're being loving and kind to yourself when you're not. So if you're talking to someone new, what do you kind of look for? Or how can you [00:23:00] help them understand if they don't love themselves?

Lori: How do they let other people treat 'em? The power that they give other people, Hmm, is one.

Um, you know, the boundaries that they, they set, if they go above and beyond to please people. So they're willing to compromise themselves for other people. I am all for serving others, and I am all for putting other people in front of me. Mm-hmm. But I also am all for 100% loving and taking care of myself because I can't give to you what I don't have.

Right. And so for those people who have allowed people to dictate to them how they're gonna live their life, or they feel like they've let people run over them all their life and they've not set boundaries and they suffer at the cost of someone else or the consequences of [00:24:00] someone else, they are the ones who are suffering from them.

Little things that they'll say, you know, are like, um,

I'm not gonna do this because that might hurt their feelings. Okay. It might hurt their feelings. You're right. Yeah. What's it gonna do to you? What's it gonna do to you? Mm-hmm. You know? How do you feel about that? Well, I wouldn't do it, you know, so that kind of thing. Yeah. Um, you know, people just say little subtle things and I'll just come out and ask, do you love who you are?

And what I hear, especially from the Christian community, is, well, I can't. Ah-huh. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. And here's my thoughts on that is, and this is why I say you need to read scripture for yourself so you can interpret it and understand it for yourself. But my interpretation of this is where God says to love yourself as your [00:25:00] neighbor.

Well, Um, love your neighbor as yourself. I'm sorry. How are we gonna love our neighbor if we don't love who we are? Mm-hmm. And scripture already assumes we love who we are out of reverence of who created us. Yeah. Because why would we not love God? And if we are created in his image, why would we love who we are?

Mm-hmm. If we believe he, if we believe he is who he says he is, and we believe that he created us and we are his masterpiece, then what's not to love?

Do I like everything about me? Goodness, no, but I love who I have become. I love the life that I live. Is it perfect? No, it's not. There have been some, there have been [00:26:00] some trials in my life. There have been some hard times in my life, but I love God and I love who he created me to be, to serve his purpose, because my purpose here on earth has eternal value.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Gabi: Absolutely. As you've grown in this area of loving yourself, like how has that changed how you see God? Because I know your experience as a 17 year old that was pretty traumatic, like your church rejecting you, and that gets so confused with who God is mm-hmm. And all of that. Mm-hmm. How has that changed your faith and your view of God?

Lori: And I wanna say that as far as the church rejecting me, those are good people. They're very good people. It's just they've lived by tradition. Right. And, um, they were just doing what they [00:27:00] were told to do. Right. You know, so that's not a reflection on them. Mm-hmm. Personally, um, that wasn't the only time that I felt rejected from God.

It hasn't been many years ago that I sit in my backyard and, um, I actually said, God, I'm mad as hell at you. Hmm. And I was, I was very mad at him. Yeah. And I was okay that, I was mad at him at that moment in my life. And he let me know real quick that it was okay. He loved me anyway. And that we together were gonna get through this.

Mm-hmm. That I had to, I had to call on his strength. But I look at it differently now. Like I crave to know the scripture, like I want to know the scripture, like, and I want to share that with people because I think they're so, it's so rich and it's so loving and so tender and so gentle, and I know that there's some wrath to it.

I get that too. I see that [00:28:00] part too. But there's so much goodness and there's so many things in our life that has. So much value eternity in it. Yeah. And um, I view God as just someone that I adore, someone that I have the utmost respect for. Um, someone that I want to strive every day to live my life for.

I don't, I fell miserably, but It's okay. It's okay. I am. Perfectly imperfect, loved by a perfect God. Mm-hmm. And that's the way that I live my life. This may not be to anybody else's standards, but I know what scripture tells me. I love that. It's not the, it's not the standards of humans, it's the standard of God's word.

Yeah.

Gabi: Yeah. So, good. And how has it, [00:29:00] how has it affected. Your relationships, like how you relate with other people. Have you seen that you have new and different boundaries or standards or like, what have been some big things that you've experienced in that realm?

Lori: Big boundaries. New boundaries. Um, that's probably the biggest change in me is that I have set those boundaries and, um, I will and I won't tolerate some things.

Mm-hmm. If it's not gonna serve me, I'm, I don't wanna be a part of it. Hmm. Um, it's caused some friendships to dissipate. Yeah. And that's okay. And, um, I love 'em, but that doesn't mean that we have to sit at the same table. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I have sat at tables that Jesus would've overturned and, and I've allowed myself to sit there, but no more, but no more.

Wow. [00:30:00] Um, you know, the boundaries has been the biggest for me, even with my husband. Um, you know, I was 100% felt guilty if I wasn't at work with him every single day and doing exactly what he needed me to do and wanted me to do because he's been very dependent upon me in this practice. Mm-hmm. Um, and together we have made a very successful practice and we've built this in.

And I, I love what we do as a couple working together in our practice. However, God's called me to a different season of life. And so I had told my husband the first of this year, I said, I'm gonna be 50 and starting January, I'm only gonna work two days. And he was like, what? No, that's not gonna happen. And I was like, okay.

You know, and my dad was even like, Lori, that's never gonna work. Like we know how dependent Ken is upon you. Like it's not gonna work. And I was like, okay. And it has, [00:31:00] and he's been really okay with it. Wow. Good for you. I. It's been, it's, it's actually, it's been so great for our relationship as well. I still help him at the office.

I'm still there for him. I'm still his biggest fan. I still go in if I need to. Mm-hmm. And he don't, I don't ha I don't get upset or complained if I have to go in on days. I don't wanna work. Um, but also he knows, like I've got, I've got a job to do. My job is coaching people so that they will know and love who they truly are.

Mm-hmm. And, and live an authentic life. Um, and like I said, discover that song inside 'em and sing it. Mm-hmm. And always felt like I was quieted and no more, no more. Wow.

Gabi: What a beautiful blossoming, Lori.

Lori: It took me a long time, but I'm here.

Gabi: Well, you know, I find that those who are really able to help others achieve the goal that [00:32:00] they're working towards are those that it kind of took a long time cuz you really understand the process.

You understand the patience, you understand, um, the different challenges people are gonna face along the way cuz it took a while for you. So I'm sorry that you had to bear the brunt of that time, but I know that it's okay. It's a blessing, like for the people that you get to work with. Um, yeah, because you've had so, so much experience

with that.

Lori: I have, I've had, you know, from getting pregnant at 17, um, not great relationships with boys in school, you know, and, um, the church situation and then trying to figure out life and navigate it. Being very poor in school when my husband was in school, cuz I put my husband through four years of dental school.

Mm-hmm. And being extremely poor, like driving home from Birmingham with a quarter to my name and. My favorite store was Goodwill. [00:33:00] And those are truths. I mean, those are things that mm-hmm. You know, those are truths and, you know, to, to, um, getting pregnant and not expecting to, with our second daughter opening a dental practice, when I found out I was pregnant again, zero money, um, to my daughter turning 18 and moving out on her own.

Accord against our better judgment and, um, then, you know, some issues and struggles in our marriage and issues and struggles and friendships and problems with kids. You know, so I've, I've had, I've had a lot of stuff, you know. Yeah. A whole lot of, a lot of stuff going on in, um, in my lifetime. But I know that my pain is not without purpose.

Mm, absolutely. And [00:34:00] if I had to go through what I had to go through for another woman or another man to know who they are and to love who they are, to live an authentic life and accept their self, then it was worth it. Mm-hmm. That's beautiful.

Gabi: You're amazing.

Lori: Well, thank you. I love you so much.

Gabi: I love you too.

Um, I would love for people to be able to connect with you. I'll put all of your links and everything in the show notes, but Okay. Can you tell us the best ways to connect with you or how to, um, work with you, all of those kinds of things?

Lori: So I'm on Facebook, Instagram, all those social media platforms. Um, I have a website.

It's lori McAfee coaching.com, and you can find me there and sign up, and I will be glad to talk to someone and to help them on their journey. Um, I love it. I absolutely love it. I love to get in front of people [00:35:00] and, and talk and tell my story and, and help people through this process. You know, if one person walks away with value, that's all that matters.

Hmm. Even if it's a crowd of 10,000.

Gabi: Aw. I love that. I love that so much. Um, you have such a genuine heart for people and it's, it shines through. I'm sure that those listening have caught that as well. So go and follow Lori on social media. You guys reach out to her if you wanna connect about coaching. Um, she's launching a podcast coming up too.

You wanna tell us about it?

Lori: Yeah, so my podcast, I really struggled, this is the funniest part. I really struggled with the name and God have talked about the name and talked about the name, but the name is Get Your Rear in Gear with Lori because, That's what I had to do to become who I am today. I had to get my rearing gear.

And so, and that's what I would tell anybody. If you know what you're supposed to do, just [00:36:00] make a choice and get your rear in gear and let's do it. Yeah. And, um, so on there. Yep. That's what we're gonna do is just really tell, I'm gonna give tips and talk about a lot of. Things that helped me and different things that I have found valuable and, and do some interviews with people as well, just conversational, um, as the things that's helped them.

Um, my husband and I are gonna be on there together, so I'm looking forward to those. And, um, my sisters and I are gonna, are on, gonna be on there together, so, so cool. A lot of cool different dynamics and how you can put things together and how you can make life work and find contentment in your season and still live authentically.

Gabi: Oh, I love it.

So definitely keep an eye out guys, cuz I'm sure she'll be posting when everything is launched and all the stuff. Um, cuz we'll need to all go subscribe. Yes. To get your rearing gear with Lori. It's gonna be so good. I'm so excited. Well, thank you for your [00:37:00] time today, my friend. I so thank you.

Appreciate you. This is going to be such a great. Episode for women and men to just be really encouraged. Um, and I just love you so much.

Lori: I love you too. And thank you so much for the opportunity and I, I can't wait for your community to hear more about you and to see more about you.

Gabi: Oh, you're so sweet.

Because I'm awesome.

Lori: You are. You are very awesome. You absolutely are. Awesome.

Oh my goodness. See, I'm just claiming it. I'm loving myself over here. That's right.

And if you don't, you will.

Gabi: Yep. I believe it. Well,

thank you, friend. I'll

talk to you soon. Thanks.

Lori: Yes, have a good day.

Gabi: You too.

Bye. Bye.