Episode 28: Coffee with Gabi! Getting Yourself in the Room

Hey friend! Grab your favorite coffee, pull up a chair, and let's chat about the importance of getting yourself into the room.

What do I mean by that? Well, we all have dreams, and we all have ideas of where we would like to be and who we would like to grow into. But sometimes we opt out of getting ourselves into the spaces that would help us become the people we want to be with the people who embody the dreams that we want to grow into. We keep ourselves out of the room often because we feel shame, we feel like we aren't good enough, we don't belong, and that we are imposters in that space. So let's talk about those feelings and how to overcome them!

I'm going to share some of my growth in this area and how having the courage to get myself into the room (or the coaching program or the relationships) where I can grow has not only offered me amazing opportunities and growth, but also some of the most incredible relationships. Not to mention how much it's healed that shame that used to hold me back!

I really hope this message encourages you today and helps you to really know that you matter and that you, too, should get yourself into the room. Thanks for being here!!

If you're enjoying the podcast, please rate and review! Thank you so much!!

Link to get tickets to the event I'm speaking at March 10-11! The Unstoppable Success Summit in Raleigh, NC: https://truegritandgrace.com/event/

Connect with Gabi:

Instagram - @gabiruth

TikTok - @gabiruth84

Facebook - facebook.com/gabiruth84

Website - gabiruth.com

---

(TRANSCRIPT) Ep. 28: Coffee with Gabi! Getting Yourself in the Room

Note: Transcript is created by AI. Please excuse any errors.

Gabi: Welcome to this episode of Pain to Passion Live that I am attempting to record now live here on Facebook, and I hope to see some of you guys popping up and interacting, or if you watch this later, Go ahead and leave comments, and if you are one of my wonderful, faithful listeners, I would love to hear from you.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this podcast, on these solo episodes because, um, what I am doing here is for you. So I love you guys and I love to serve you to the best of my ability. So let's talk a little bit today about getting into the room. This is something that I have been thinking a lot about.

So I, as you know, am someone who is very, very, Um, passionate about healing from your past, healing from trauma. I, myself, am a complex trauma survivor who, uh, has C P T S D and am learning to manage C P T S D symptoms and learning how to thrive with this being part of my life. And I know a lot of you that listen to me and follow me.

You have similar experience. Um, and regardless, there are things that we go through in life that are hard. There are things that we all go through that are traumatic, right? We all go through tough stuff that stays with us, that stays in our bodies, and causes us, us to have to engage in our healing journey.

One of the things I have had to learn is that I deserve to show up in spaces and in rooms where I have felt in the past, like I do not belong. In fact, I have always been a big dreamer. I've always known that I was created to do something extraordinary. Um, and I've known that God wanted me to use my.

However, it's my voice, my very voice that has been under attack since day one. It's been the essence of who I am that has been under attack. It has been me believing that I'm not worth much, that I don't have anything to offer, that there's something different about me that makes me less qualified than other people to do extraordinary things, to use my life in big ways.

To even do smart. . But as I've grown, as I've healed, I have learned how important it is to get into the spaces and the rooms that I have dreamed about being part of, or to get into the spaces and the rooms where there are people who are ahead of me or who are in a space that I would like to be in the.

But this can be really overwhelming and very intimidating for someone who deals with the symptoms of P T S D, who deals with, uh, imposter syndrome. I mean, it's a spectrum, right? You can be like a little bit wary of. Your ability to belong in a certain space all the way to where it causes you to panic and shut down and all of those things, which of course, we don't want to lean in that far, but what I am going to say to you is lean in.

A lot of times as we go through our healing processes, we think that getting into any kind of discomfort is not okay. I want to get rid of. Yes, you must be kind to yourself as you heal. Yes, you have to be careful not to get outside of your window of tolerance. However, if you completely avoid any kind of discomfort, you won't grow.

You won't heal and grow into the person the potential that you have inside of you. And that way your trauma wins. And we do not want that to happen. So I want to just share how getting into rooms has changed things for me. It's really changed things for me. It has opened my horizons. It has taught me things that I would never have learned otherwise.

But in order to get into those rooms and into those spaces, I have had to face significant amounts of dis. For example, um, as you may know, I was part of the network mar network marketing company for a couple of years, and it was a huge growth process for me. One of the best things about being part of a network mar network marketing company is that you have opportunities for personal growth.

I don't know about you, but the term personal growth kind of had a stigma attached to it for me, as someone who grew up in the church, Self-help, personal growth. These things had a stigma attached to them because it was like, um, aren't we supposed to focus on spiritual growth? Like, why are we focusing on ourselves?

And it kind of pushed away this entire segment of growth and society and learning. , um, based on the fact that for some reason it was like un-Christian. I don't know if you've experienced that, but I experienced that significantly so I had not found myself in a lot of personal growth spaces until I joined this network marketing company.

And they offered so many opportunities to grow, to learn about leadership, to learn about organization, to learn about how to set up your days, all kinds of different ways to grow as a human being. and I found myself just amazed by how much I was learning from people that I, honestly, before that I thought they were like so out of my league and so like on a different planet than me, that it was impossible for me to learn anything from them because we were so not alike, but the truth.

We were actually a lot more alike than I thought. We were all chasing dreams. We were all chasing our purpose, and they had so much to teach me. And since that time, I have found myself putting myself in a room over and over and over again in spaces where people are making more money than I. People are making a bigger impact than I am.

People have more experience than I do. People have so much to offer to me. At the same time, I have been healing. I have been learning about how to heal. I have learned so many things in this realm of healing that I have found that I also have something significant to. So as I've become more comfortable in these spaces of learning, sitting and learning and taking things in and, and applying them to my life or to my businesses, I have also found myself getting to the place where like, I need to use my voice.

But in order to use your voice and to impact people, you need to be in relationships with people. . And so I have found that putting myself into a room where people are gathered in the name of growth, in the name of learning is the exact space where I can start to practice using my voice and where I can make connections and relationships that will.

Put me in more spaces where I can use my gifts, where I can use my voice, where I can teach more people. I have something significant to offer in the personal growth space. I know that I do. It's just um, that it took me a really long time to gain the confidence to know that I belong there, which is really where I wanna end.

on this, uh, message is that sense of belonging, especially if you're someone who has lived with complex trauma. If you are someone who has had to fight, To, um, release shame because of messages that have been coming at you your whole life. You may really struggle to feel like you belong, and you may significantly struggle to feel like you belong in spaces where you really want to be meaning in those spaces that you dream about.

Like, that's what I wanna do. But those people are like 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 steps ahead of me. I'm never gonna belong. , I wanna look you in the eyes right now. Just consider that I am sitting right across from you at a coffee shop looking you in the eye, saying, girl or guy, , whoever you are, you belong. And your voice, it truly matters.

And the things that you have learned, they matter. You're also valuable enough to feel a sense of belonging in a space where you have a lot of room to grow just because you might not be at the level of someone else. in a certain arena does not mean that you are less valuable than them. And trust me, when you show up into a space where you feel a little bit hesitant because you think maybe everyone else there is a little bit better than you or whatever, but you show up in that space, you value yourself enough to say, you know what, I'm gonna put myself into that space with these people.

When you value yourself enough to do that, you'll find, excuse me, you will find a belonging that you have hoped for. I have found this again and again that I, if I just get in the room, as uncomfortable as it has made me sometimes. To be in the room. When I get into the room and I can show up authentically as myself, not trying to pretend, not trying to be anything, but showing up with my experience with what I have to offer and with my personality.

The sense of belonging that I have been able to find is extraordinary because you know what? Everyone in the world is looking for a sense of belonging. Everyone. . And so when you show up authentically as you in a space where others are also showing up authentically as them, maybe they have trepidation about being in the room for a different reason than you have trepidation about being in the room.

There's a connection that can happen that can change your life. Truly, I believe it, and I've had to learn to be bold, to say yes to myself, to show up in spaces where I can learn and grow and network with people. And find like, you know what? I am valuable in this space. It's so liberating, it's so healing, and I want you to experience that.

So whatever it is that you're going after, I want you to believe in yourself enough that you can go into a space that is the next level of what it is that you are going after. Get into a. Where you're like, you know what? I know I want to belong there, so I'm going to belong there. And you get yourself in the room, whether that is signing up for a virtual course or going to an event or even, and I will tell you time and time and time again how much this has paid off reaching out to that person that you admire.

and saying, Hey, can we chat? Hey, how can I serve you? Or even, Hey, you know what? I think that what you do is amazing and I just wanted to tell you that you bless my life. Reaching out to those people that you admire, the people that are in a space that you would like to be. guys, it unlocks the power of relationship in a way that you would not even begin to understand.

I have seen this play out in my life over and over again when I find the courage, and it takes courage every time, but when I find the courage to reach out to somebody that I want to be in a relationship with, because I know that I can learn from them and I know that they can learn from me as. , but they, they're a few steps ahead of me.

It's worked out for me every single time. Why? Because people are people. People want genuine communication. People want genuine connection. Stop being afraid. And you know what? The people that won't connect with you back, they're not meant for you anyway. So why don't you just take the step, reach out, get into that coaching program.

Go to that class, go to that event, reach out to that person on Instagram, that you watch their videos every day and you are just like, man, I love this person. I just, I wish that we could be friends, like reach out and say hi, because you matter. You matter enough to be in relationship with people that you want to be in relationship with.

You matter enough to be in spaces where you can grow into the person that you want to be. Okay. On that note, I am speaking at an event in March in North Carolina. It's in like three and a half weeks, and there's still room there. This is a like personal growth to the nth degree event. Not a space I ever would've imagined myself being in a few years ago, but I'm speaking at this.

I'm a member of Amber Lee Lagos Unstoppable Life Mastermind, which has been life changing, and I get the opportunity to speak at this event. There are going to be 20 plus speakers there that are going to help you with your confidence. They're going to help you with your healing. They're going to help you launch your podcast, like the network of people that you could be in contact with.

is amazing. So if you are in this season where you're like, I'm ready to uplevel, I highly recommend you get yourself into that room. There's only a hundred tickets. They're selling fast. I don't know how many are left, but it's a small, intimate event. So you can really meet the speakers, you can network, you can meet me, we can hang out.

Um, and you can say to yourself, you know what I'm. So I will put the link to that in the show notes and in the comments here on Facebook because you need to be in the room if that's something you want to go after. You're wanting to up-level your life. And I promise that I will continue to show up here to be a safe space for you to share your concerns, to learn about healing, to know that your story, Yes, but I want you to know that your personal growth and development also matters, and your story is part of that.

You are valuable. You are unique, you are beautiful, and. I just love you guys and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to come and serve you week after week here on the podcast. If you're enjoying the podcast, please go to your favorite podcast platform and rate and review. It means so much. It helps a ton.

Get the word out. Share this video or the recording with your friends. That means a lot too. Shout me out on, uh, your stories on Instagram. I love that. I mean, that's like my, one of my love languages is just being shouted out on an Instagram story. So thank you guys. I love you. You belong. You matter, and I hope to see you here next time.

Thanks.