Love is spelled S-A-F-E

What did your nervous system learn about love when you were a child?

Was it spelled p-e-r-f-o-m-a-n-c-e? P-o-w-e-r? P-a-i-n?

Did it sound like “you’re bad”, “you’re worthless”, “try harder”, or “God’s angry, watch out”?

I want you to know, my friend, that none of those things are love. But we have to teach our minds and our nervous systems that.

To be safely seen and attuned with by another is what love should feel like. To know you’re inherently valuable and won’t be threatened simply for being who you are is what love feels like. To be fully YOU in complete freedom is what love feels like.

Oh, and I absolutely must mention that God IS Love. I know that’s a tough one for those of us who have experienced spiritual abuse. So be gentle with yourself. Take time in the quiet to get to know Him. Because Love is literally who He is, and He cannot change. The lies aren’t real. But He sure is. He is S-A-F-E.

Small steps toward safety: trust a friend with your pain and let them sit with you. Find a healthy, trauma-informed therapist who registers as safe to your system (the effort to find one is worth it. This has changed my life). Listen to your own needs, attune with your inner child, and give yourself the comfort, space, and safety to just BE.

You deserve to be Loved(SAFE).